Conversions of an Interesting Nature
by me-ladie
Summary: ONE SHOT: After being forced to go to a party, Kyle meets someone he hasn't seen in years. Slash. Kyle/Christophe


**Disclaimer:** I do not own, as if I would own something like South Park. _Shudder_ It's to twisted for my imagination... but that doesn't mean I don't have fun playing with it. :D

**Summary:** ONE SHOT: After being forced to go to a party, Kyle meets someone he hasn't seen in years. Slash. Kyle/Christophe

**Author Notes:** Not an update to Le Jeu Adulte, but as I said, expect one by the 30th of April at the latest.

This sort of popped into my head magically. It had no plot and sort of took me on a magical journey. It is rather different from what I'm used to. I.E. ANGSTY TEEN Kyle or REBEL Kyle. I've tried to go for something that's sort of more realistic. A mix between.

So I'd really love reviews. I tend to get a lot of favorites, author watches and story watches, but very few reviews. So please, I love any form of feedback. Even if it's just a "I like it!".

I am also thinking of writing a sequel with wavy flash backs. :D

Enjoy,

Me-Ladie

*~-~*

**Conversions of an Interesting Nature**

It was hot and oh so very sticky. One of those days when the air is so thick with moisture it feels like the world is melting. The heat was in the air, in the trees and sweat seemed to constantly roll down your back. It was the hottest day of the year, 115˚, and Kyle Broflovski hated it.

He was trying to study, he had an exam tomorrow. If he didn't pass, his mother would shout at him;

"Kyle! You're throwing your life down the drain. Binge drinking, drugs, I know what you College kids get up to. I knew I should have made you go to College closer to home. Then at least I could have kept an eye on you. You're setting a bad example for your brother, it's a wonder he hasn't failed."

If he didn't pass, his father would invite him into the study and lecture him;

"Now Kyle, I know it's difficult. Hey, I've been there myself. Studying is boring, partying is fun. It gets to a point when everything gets so overwhelming you just want to cheese. However son, you need to keep going. If you don't get good grades you'll never become a top rate lawyer."

If he didn't pass, Ike would scowl at him;

"Once again it's all about you; and you're just lapping up the attention aren't you? Poor Mamma's boy is alone, all by himself in Connecticut. Poor baby… Fuck you Kyle! It's supposed to be about me now!"

He fucking hated exams.

"Oi Broflovski!" A familiar voice shouted. "You still here?"

Kyle closed his eyes and sighed before looking up to meet the eyes of Bailey Roberts, a Senior and resident bully.

"What do you want Roberts?" Kyle scowled.

"I want to know why you're in here studying," Robert's began, combing his hair a little. "Instead of attending my 'Why am I so great' party?"

"Because I have an exam tomorrow," Kyle muttered, wondering why he even bothered. "And I need to pass."

"Why?" Roberts crooned. "Because Mummy will get angry?"

"Yes."

"Broflovski," Roberts sighed, resting a hand on Kyle's text book. "There are times you have to tell your parents to fuck off."

"Yeah well," Kyle began, biting his lip. "You've never met my mum."

"You know what Broflovski," Robert's smirked before snatching Kyle's book. "I'm going to give you the chance to live a little. If you come to the party, I won't burn your book."

"You wouldn't dare!" Kyle shouted, standing up.

"Try me," Robert's snickered.

"Why do you even want me there in the first place?" Kyle moaned, slumping back into his chair. "I'm just a nerd who you like to bully."

"I've got a few friends into the ranger thing," Roberts began, a smirk still plastered across his smug face. "And I've got a couple of friends who are into nerds."

"So I'm basically eye candy?"

"You wish!" Roberts laughed, hoisting Kyle up from his seat. "No get your ass over there."

***~-~***

The music was loud and monotonous. Each new song seemed to song like the one which preceded it. It was what his mother called teenage filth before putting on some old crooner.

Kyle had never felt so awkward. He was standing alone at the snacks table being snickered at by whoever went near him. He couldn't understand why Robert's wanted to make him even more of a social outcast. None of the other so called 'nerds' were there, so why did Kyle have to suffer?

"Hey, hey," A drunken jock began. "You red head. Suck on this!"

Kyle watched in horror as the drunken man pulled down his pants, letting his wiener pop out.

"Suck on what?" Kyle feigned innocence. "I can't see anything noteworthy."

"Why you little cunt!" The jock growled, stepping forward to take a swing before falling over completely. He then proceeded to vomit.

"Ugh!" Kyle moaned.

"My zoughts exactly," an accented voice sniggered. "God I 'ate zese people."

"Then why are you here?" Kyle said, turning to face the direction of the voice.

The man in front of him was tall, six foot four perhaps? He had broad shoulders and was toned. His chocolate brown hair was tangled on top of his large forehead. His eyes were a watery brown and sat above an obviously unhealed broken nose. The man's clothes were dirty and he held a half smoked cigarette in one hand.

"Because," he began, raising his cigarette to his mouth and inhaling. "I 'ad nozing better to do zis evening. And yourself?"

"I was bullied into coming here," Kyle muttered.

"How?"

"I have an exam tomorrow," Kyle began, running a hand through his mass of red curls. "Roberts threatened to burn my text book if I didn't come."

"Zen why are you still 'ere?"

"He still has my book."

"Zat is just an excuse," the taller man smirked. "I zink you secretly like it 'ere."

"Now why would you think that?"

"Well what is zis exam for?" The Frenchman asked.

"Law," Kyle answered.

"Let me guess," The Frenchman began to pace. "Your fazer wants you to be a lawyer."

"Close," Kyle smirked. "But no."

"Your muzzer?"

"Wow! Got it in two guesses!"

"Quiet you!" The other man glared. "I'm guessing you don't want to be a lawyer."

"Not really no."

"Zen you are 'ere passing time," The Frenchman smiled. "Because zen you might sleep in and miss your exam and fail. An excuse to quit ze course, no?"

"If I failed my mother would kill me," Kyle moaned.

"She'll get over it," the taller man smirked. "Zen you can do what you really want to do."

"Yeah, sure," Kyle rolled his eyes. "Okay. And when she comes here and drags me home cursing my name?"

"You tell 'er what you want to be."

"Which is?"

"I don't know! Something arty?"

"I'm not an artistic person."

"I don't know you, but you seem arty."

"Well maybe you should stop making some assumptions."

"I zink you are a writer."

"What are you-" Kyle paused. "Well I'd like to be."

"See, Arty!"

"Not if I'm writing something like a crime novel."

"Zat's still arty," The Frenchman smirked. "Arty, arty, arty."

"You're a jerk."

"My name's Christophe," The taller man smiled. "And you're an arty farty."

"Now you're just being immature," Kyle returned his smile. "My name is Kyle."

"So why are you so scared of your mozer?" Christophe asked, sitting down on the grass.

"A lot of reasons," Kyle said, also sitting down. "My mother is a bit eccentric."

"So is mine."

"My mother started a war with Canada," Kyle sighed. "She tends to get over involved in things."

"'Ang on," Christophe frowned. "What was your mozer's name?"

"Shiela Broflovski," Kyle sighed. "You've probably heard of her."

"Oh I definitely know who she is," Christophe growled. "It's her fault I died."

"You died?"

"In ze war," Christophe cringed. "I died in your arms."

"Wait," Kyle began, the gears grinding in his head. "You're 'Ze Mole'"

"Was 'Ze Mole'," Christophe shrugged. "Was being ze key word."

The two young men sat in silence. Christophe stubbed out his cigarette and then lit another before offering one to Kyle.

"No thanks."

"Don't smoke?"

"Tried it once," Kyle shrugged. "Didn't like it enough to do it again."

"Smart boy."

"So…" Kyle trailed off. "What are you doing now?"

"Studying Computer Science," Christophe shrugged. "I like feeling smarter zan everyone else."

"You should have studied law," Kyle chuckled. "Almost everyone believes they're better than me."

"I've never zought I was better zan anyone else," Christophe said firmly. "I just like to zink zat I am smart."

"Well I don't think you're stupid," Kyle shrugged.

"Zank you," Christophe smiled. "What's your name again?"

"Kyle."

"Kyle," Christophe muttered. "Kyle, Kyle, Kyle… And I am Christophe."

"Yeah I know."

"Sorry," Christophe muttered. "I'm lousy at remembering names."

"Well I'm pretty good," Kyle smiled. "So why are you here?"

"I already told you zat."

"No," Kyle sighed. "Why are you talking to me?"

"Because zere is no one else who is sober?" Christophe said innocently. "Plus you're razer easy on ze eyes."

"Aw…" Kyle laughed, poking his new friend. "Do you think I'm pretty?"

"No," Christophe shook his head. "I zink you are beautiful."

"Oh…" Kyle trailed off. "Did you ask Roberts to get me here?"

"No," Christophe smirked. "You were just a bonus."

"Thanks," Kyle grinned. "So am I going to have to kiss you?"

"Not if you don't want to."

"No," Kyle laughed, inching closer to the taller man. "I meant am I going to have to be a man and take you by force?"

"Zat sounds like a challenge," Christophe growled before leaning forward, forcing Kyle to lay down on the grass below. "And I always get my man."

Christophe leant forward, capturing Kyle's lips with his own. Kyle shivered before enthusiastically returning the kiss. As they broke away Kyle ran his tongue over Christophe's bottom lip.

"H-how long have you been waiting to do that?" Kyle asked, his voice shaking slightly.

"Since I was about ten," Christophe chuckled.

"A bit young to realize that you're gay," Kyle laughed.

"Imagine my mother's shock," Christophe smirked before kissing the fragile red head beneath him. "What about you? When did you realize?"

"When I was about fifteen," Kyle shrugged. "I had a crush on my best friend at the time. I finally kissed him when I turned eighteen. He freaked out and hasn't spoken to me since."

"What did your mozzer say?"

"She thinks it's a phase," Kyle laughed. "I've kissed a couple of guys since coming here, but it was nothing like this kiss we just shared."

"Did you want to get out of here?" Christophe smiled, raising an eyebrow suggestively.

"Sure."

***~-~***

"I-I've never done anything like this before."

*gasp*

"Don't worry, we'll take it slow."

*kiss*

"Oh…"

*kiss*

"Christophe!"

*suck*

"Mmm?"

*lick*

"Oh… F-f-f-fuck!"

*smirk*

"You like zat?"

*gasp*

"Y-y-yes."

*bite*

"Good boy."

*moan*

"Now what do you say?"

*nip*

"Huh?"

*kiss*

"What do you say to me?"

*gasp*

"Christophe-"

*moan*

"Yes?"

*squeak*

"Christophe-"

*pant*

"Christophe what?"

*suck*

"Christophe… please!"

*moan*

"Zat's better."

***~-~***

Surprisingly enough Kyle did not have a hangover. In fact, he felt the best he had in years. He felt completely satisfied. Kyle grinned; it had never felt so good to be naked. He rolled over and snuggled into the larger man who was snoring softly beside him.

He looked at the alarm clock, it was eight thirty. Three hours until his exam. As he lay in bed he thought about what he was going to say to his family. His brother would scowl at him;

_Once again it's all about you; and you're just lapping up the attention aren't you? _**Sure am little brother, because that's why I decided to study at Yale.**

_Poor Mamma's boy is alone, all by himself in Connecticut. _**Just because you're jealous.**

_Poor baby… Fuck you Kyle! __It's supposed to be about me now!_ **Ike it's always been about you, I'm the one they yell at, the one who disappoints them. You've always been their favorite, and you're not even related to them by blood. How do you think that made me feel all these years?**

His father would lecture him;

_Now Kyle, I know it's difficult._ _Hey, I've been there myself. _**You're always **_so_** understanding dad.**

_Studying is boring, partying is fun. _**I just want to live a little.**

_It gets to a point when everything gets so overwhelming you just want to cheese. _**I've never turned to drugs dad.**

_However son, you need to keep going. _**Until I burn myself out?**

_If you don't get good grades you'll never become a top rate lawyer._ **I don't want to be a lawyer! I want to write! Why is it so hard for you to accept that I am not you! That I don't want to be you! All I want to do is be myself!**

His mother would shout at him;

_Kyle! You're throwing your life down the drain._ **I only just realized that Mom.**

_Binge drinking, drugs, I know what you College kids get up to. _**Sure I occasionally drink, but so do you and Dad.**

_I knew I should have made you go to College closer to home. _**I came here to escape you.**

_Then at least I could have kept an eye on you._**I'm an adult now, I make my own decisions. You need to let go of me.**

_You're setting a bad example for your brother, it's a wonder he hasn't failed._ **By the way mom, I'm gay and it's not a phase.**

He chuckled at himself.

"Mon Cher?" Christophe purred. "What is ze matter?"

"Nothing," Kyle said, resting his head on the Frenchman's chest. "Just thinking about my family."

"Was I really zat bad?"

"No," Kyle smiled. "You were really that wonderful."

"You should do zat more often."

"What?"

"Smile."

Kyle laughed. He laughed the kind of laugh that lit up your face, the kind of laugh that makes you warm all over.

"Christophe?" Kyle asked, his laughter dying down. "Did you want to do this again?"

"We'll," Christophe began, rubbing his chin. "I 'ave never been one to turn down sex."

"No," Kyle laughed, grabbing Christophe's large hand with his smaller one. "Spend an evening together."

"Isn't zat what sex is?"

"I meant go on a date."

"Of course, mon cher," Christophe pressed a Kiss against the smaller mans forehead. "Can I 'ave your number?"

"Do you have a pen and paper?"

"Sure," Christophe smiled, hopping out of bed, revealing all of himself. "Kyle, is zat drool I see?"

"Uh…"

"Maybe your number can wait," Christophe smirked, sliding back into bed. "Because right now I 'ave you exactly where I want."

"B-but I have an exam in three hours?" Kyle squeaked as Christophe pressed a kiss against his neck.

"Don't worry," Christophe smirked, licking his lips. "You'll get there in time."

***~-~***

Kyle passed the exam with flying colours.

***~-~***

Loved it?

Hated it?

Please tell me what you think! It's a little different from what I usually write but yes, I loved writing it!

Constructive criticism please.

Cheers,

Me-Ladie


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